The Script, Hall of Fame, ft will.i.am.

Never ever give up your dream!

Parents....

As you probably know, my mother is at a home for ladies with dementia and who have had stroke. She is well taken care of and can enjoy her day with happenings, food, music and she even has her own TV in her room. The nurses cook the food and a doctor is not far away if something happens. I am not worried at all when it comes to her, but when it comes to my father...

...I really do not know what to do. He is started to get a little bit unfocused and does not remember all as he usually did. He is the youngest one among the oldest relatives and he has been in and out the hospital during the latest months for dizziness, strange seeing, pains in the chest and almost vomiting (as he calls it). The doctors have said that he should start to relax more and not be so stressed out over things that really does not matter. As I have been saying to him too. And the latest doctor said that he should not sit so long at his wife side at the home, that can be stressful. The doctor found out that my father has high blood pressure. He has medication for this and have even been ordained to visit a nurse for physiotherapy because of the pains he has in his shoulders and legs. This is probably something he got from the time when he worked, now he is a pensioner. 

It would be so nice if he just could stop for a while, smell the roses and go to a theatre and see a play, or something. I took him with the kids to an amusing park last summer and he just watched the clock the whole time. Is there time to do this and that, go here and there. I told him that this is what we do today. Just you, me and the kids and this amusing park and some food. Then we go home, have some coffee and relax. It was hard for him. But I think that this is what he needs.

I just hope that he can see it himself, before it is too late.....

Life as a lesson

I found this on Facebook, it was shared among the friends I have and I thought I could share it with you - for fun and even for learning. It is written by a person who is 90 years, it is said. It is never to late and I know that I have some things of these 42 that I should work on a little bit more. So, enjoy your reading.

"42 things I learned in life"

1. Life is not fair but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short, enjoy it.

4. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will do it.

5. Pay off your credit card debt each month.

6. You do not have to win every argument. Remain true to yourself.

7. Weep with someone, it's more healing than crying alone.

8. Start saving for your retirement when you get your first paycheck.

9. As for chocolate, so it is stupid to try to resist.

10. Make peace with your past so it does not destroy your future.

11. It's okay that your children see you cry. 

12. Do not compare your life with others. You have no idea what their life's journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you should not be a part of it.

14. Take a deep breath, it gets your mind to relax.

15. Get rid of anything that you do not use. Unnecessary material possessions weigh you down in many ways.

16. Anything that does not kill you makes you stronger.

17. It is never too late to be happy but it is up to you, nobody else.

18. When it comes to chasing what you love in life, never accept a no.

19. Light the nice candles, use your finest sheets, wear your finest lingerie. Do not save them for a special occasion. Every day is special.

20. Prepare for a lot of things. Then follow the stream.

21. Be eccentric now. Do not wait until you are old enough to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. Only you control your happiness.

24. Set the music to every so-called drama in your life with these words, "Does this really matter in 5 years?".

25. Always choose life.

26. Always say sorry, but never forget.

27. What others think about you, you have nothing to do with.

28. Time heals almost all wounds. Give time the time to do it.

29. How good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Do not take yourself too seriously. No one else does.

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Reviewing is not living. Simply make the best of it right now.

33. Getting old beats the alternative - dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. The only thing that really matters in the end, is that you loved.

36. Make sure to be outdoors every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's problems, we would quickly take our own back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.

39. The best things in life have not happened to you yet.

40. Regardless of how you feel - Dress up and show up.

41. Harvest.

42. Life does not have a bow around it, but it's still a gift.

I should put a little extra time for number 30 and 40. Remember my mother in law's words once, when she asked me to get ready, dress up and go, even if I felt sluggish. Will be much better then. There is enough truth in those words. And 10. No need to dwell on the past. Learn from what happened, proceed with that lesson of life. But most important of all.

You can only do your best!

Some thoughts, around Easter

Easter, a colourful time that says that the spring is on the way. Bunnies sweet as sugar, decorations so fluffy and in pastels, cute coloured eggs and other things that remind us of the season. And all the candy, especially here in Sweden, that we eat during this holiday. But Easter is more that just candy and cuteness. It is the church’s biggest feast when life wins over death, He is Risen! Many parishes have divine service during this time and a visitor can take part in the biggest mystery of them all, by psalms, prayer and communion.

When I think about the Easter we had when I was a little girl, I can say that I do not remember so much about it. I think it was a very calm time and there was just some decorations and I may have painted some eggs. Can even be that there where some happenings going on at school, but nothing more. But we had those big eggs with surprises in. Candy and maybe a present. What did you get, what did I get?

Now I have two kids, that know that the Easter Bunny comes to their grandmother and that the eggs are hidden in a cupboard. They go directly to that cupboard and find their eggs. A moment of fun, that surely passes rather quickly. But during the feast we have each other. The kids grandmother gets a visit, something new happens and she can enjoy it. Good food, happy kids around the cheer her up. A ordinary week becomes a happy week. We help her with things and she can just be. We are her Easter egg, something that she likes. An Easter would not be the same without it.

So, give away a different egg this Easter. Give away you. Help someone. Be with someone who needs company. Make some food. Enjoy it together.

Happy Easter!

Scents

Newly sawn wood has a special scent. So even the scents of cooking in the kitchen, hospitals and snow falling. These scents can make you remember, if the scents are strong enough and if they find their way through the nostrils up to the head. Close your eyes to get the fine or maybe even ugly inner images that make you remember and allows you to travel back in time.

When I was little, we spent the summers with my grandparents in Finland. Near the Saimaa Canal. Near the Russian border. Near the berry bushes. Near the outhouse with the long aisle with firewood along one side of it. At each scent of forest timber, newly sawn, high along a roadside in piles, I remember this aisle. Hideously long for the short stubby legs I had then. The aisle was covered with bark chips from the wood and it felt soft under the red clogs I had as a child. Other than the dirt road to the Saimaa Canal, where you could bathe or wash carpets, see how the boat went by with its long trailer .... There the scents were different. Green soap from grandmother newly washed carpets, tanned sand, water ...

When I went up along the aisle to the outhouse, I could sometimes let my little fingers touch the wall of wood. Slowly I let every chubby firewood slide under my fingers.

"Beware of splinters!" said grandfather and giggled.

Just another day, like that.

Hello over there, hope that you are fine. I am sitting here in the kitchen after our dinner and waiting for the hockey game to start. Two swedish teams will fight for glory. I hear how the wind is starting to blow harder and harder. There is a storm on the way and lots of snow. I do not look forward to that, even if I like storms (that behave and just blow hard) but I do not want the snow to come. I want the spring to arrive with sunshine, yellow daffodils and chickens. I look forward to the Easter holidays when we will visit my mother-in-law. I need some change of place. 

The last two weeks I have been studying and trying my best to come to some good conclusions and have something important to write about. I feel that I have not succeeded so well. But as long as I do my best and get something on paper until Sunday so that I can e-mail it to the teacher. I spoke with him last weekend and the talk gave me some energy and he gave me tips on books to read and how to think. Feels good.

Some weeks ago the girls had their birthdays. We celebrated it with movies, food and shopping with their friends. The girls and friends watched a Swedish teenage movie while me and hubby saw the new Bruce Willis - A good Day to Die Hard. It was really good and the girls liked their movie called Ego.

Well, time to end here and let the evening with hockey start. Have a nice new week. Hugs, Niina

Monday...

It says it all. Monday.

Head ache. 

Stiff jaw.

No energy.

I had plans to wake up early this morning and search for some information to my master thesis, but I was so tired so I just slept and slept. I am thankful that the girls have their winter vacation now and there was no hurry in the morning. I think that I needed it. Needed the rest. But I know that sleeping to much in the morning gives me a head ache. Were the stiff jaw and no energy comes from, I do not know. Stress?

But it makes my Monday. I have been taking it easy and just been wondering a little about the thesis. That is work and preparation too. I remember one essay that I did some years ago about the first jew that came to Sweden. I had no ideas for a very long time, I wrote something and my hubby read it and said that I should re-do it. Angry and frustrated I just let it be for a while. One morning, just some days before it was time to send it to the teacher, I got an idea and wrote it in two hours. Well, this will not happen this time and I will need some more hours, but there is hope. 

There is always hope.

And one funny thing - I am born on a Monday.

Have a good new week. Hugs, Niina

Open 24/7

That a store or a shop are open for you 24/7 is a good thing. Several people work for you and are there for you when ever you need their help. You can not complain and it is a good feeling to find a store like that. 

But can a human being like you and me be open for 24/7? Lately I have had the feeling that some people expect you to be open for 24/7 and that it is your obligation to be there when ever they need you. I have no problems with being there for others, to help and support...but if it all the time, phone calls when ever and that you even do not have the opportunity to say no. 

My dad can phone me for all kinds of reasons and ask for my help. If I do not answer he can phone me until I do or stop when I have phoned back. He can not understand that I can not always answer - I have the family, studies, work things and I need to sleep too. I tried to explain this to him - it takes time, money and energy to help him and as he knows, there are people working with this and these can help him better than I can. They know about my mother's dementia, stroke, what she needs and how to fill in the papers. I know my mother personally but I can not help with the things concerning her health. These people are there for him, always.

My dad has tried to understand but it ends in the same talk anyway. He does not have the peace in himself to listen what his grandkids are doing and what happens over here. He usually just says: "Well, well, nice - but your mother's pants are gone, again." And I say: "The pants are probably in the washing machine at the accommodation." Nothing unusual about that. 

I am not harsch or cold, but sometimes I need to say "No, this is enough" but I know that when the next call comes I will end up on the phone line, making his calls, helping him. I just hope I do not end up as a wet spot on the floor. I just know that the things I need to do suffers...

Have a lovely week. 

Hugs, Niina

Gray hair?

I have been alone this week with the kids while my hubby took a week of from work to visit his mother. During this week I had planned to do some studies and clean out the Christmas things. Nothing really went as planned. This week have given me gray hair and I feel a bit stressed over the things needed to be done. I want so much, but in some way I do not have the energy to start. My studies have mostly taken the fall in this and I know that I need to work my butt off now. But at the same time we have not got any directions from the teachers so I feel a bit off because of that. No dates when to send the essays to the teachers or how the next part in the course will look like. And days just pass by...

...very fast. On Monday it is time for the big assignment. In 5-6 months I need to write about something interesting and moving in the subject Religion in Peace and Conflict. And I have locked myself and my thoughts. I do not know what to write about and the two smaller assignments before this need to be done first. So....

...I feel that I am in big trouble. I need to get my act together and produce something good. Or I will end up in a corner producing some stress highlights!

Have a great weekend and take care!

Hugs, Niina

Snow

Snowflakes are kisses from heaven. ~Author Unknown 

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event.
You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different,
and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?
~J.B. Priestley

Sounds so nice, but how is the feeling after thousand of those white crystal slow falling flakes? When you have been out there trying to clean up the yard and the flakes just take over and you can not do anything about that! What about then?

You have guessed right, it is Winter Wonderland here again. The snow fell on the icy roads and making all so fluffy and at the same time so shifty. You just love the fluffiness and do not even think about the ice under it. Not until you do the yearly flip. Then you wish some one would eat snow to help summer!

Have a marvelous new week!

Hugs, Niina

Happy New Year!

This year is soon over and a new one is on the way, filled with joy and possibilities. In a year, they meet again - the new and the old. Let us hope that the year 2013, yours and mine, will be the best ever.

Happy New Year!

Blessings, Niina

Merry Christmas!

Christ's Nativity a Christmas poem by Henry Vaughan

Awake, glad heart! get up and sing!

It is the birth-day of thy King.

Awake! awake!

The Sun doth shake

Light from his locks,

and all the way

Breathing perfumes,

doth spice the day.

Awake, awake!

hark how th' wood rings;

Winds whisper,

and the busy springs

A concert make;

Awake! awake!

Man is their high-priest,

and should rise

To offer up the sacrifice.

I would I were some bird, or star,

Flutt'ring in woods, or lifted far

Above this inn And road of sin!

Then either star or bird should be

Shining or singing still to thee.

I would I had in my best part

Fit rooms for thee! or that my heart

Were so clean as

Thy manger was!

But I am all filth, and obscene;

Yet, if thou wilt, thou canst make clean.

Sweet Jesu! will then.

Let no more

This leper haunt and soil thy door!

Cure him, ease him, O release him!

And let once more, by mystic birth,

The Lord of life be born in earth...

Have a blessed Christmas!
/Niina